Detachment? Detachment from what?
I asked her to explain, and with love, she responded that perhaps God was using my current circumstances to reveal my attachment to material things.
Wait, what?!? My attachment to material things? I'm a teacher. I'm not exactly living a life of splendor. I drive a 2001 Honda Civic...or rather, I did up until about 11:30am today. I'll let you connect the dots as to why today is not my favorite.
In fact, describing my day as "not my favorite" is an understatement.
Here's a more accurate description of my day: Today, I was a tiny dinghy, being pushed and sloshed around like a limp rag doll in the middle of an unforgiving sea. Today was a day that had me gasping for air, reaching for a life vest that seemed just an inch out of reach, pleading for the peace Paul describes in Phillipians 4:6, the "peace of God, which transcends all understanding."
And now, my dear friend, a woman I admire and respect, who is constantly challenging me to be more Christ-like, is telling me that she is praying for me to be "detached". Uh....ok?
Well, truthfully, it didn't take much time or reflection or hours spent staring at my ceiling pondering over this idea, for me to realize that she was absolutely correct. And with that, I rolled out of bed, put my contacts back in, and began writing.
Today's debilitating blow is actually not debilitating at all. In fact, it's liberating and refreshing. Yes, it's not ideal and will require humility and sacrifice, but it's actually a blessing in disguise. Today showed me another area I need to give over to God-- my money.
Before today, I hadn't realized that despite my modest salary, I was still falling victim to something that entraps so many of us. I had been searching for my security and my worth in my bank statements, rather than in my relationship with Jesus. I had begun to see my life has a series of deposits and withdrawls, instead of as a safe, filled with riches that can't be measured.
I have a God who loves me. He doesn't see my financial shortcomings. Instead, He sees His little girl that He wants to take care of, that He wants to protect. Priceless.
I have a mom who loves me. She doesn't see my perceived failures. Instead, she sees her little girl, impacting lives, being used by God to talk about His truth and grace. She looks at me, with pride in her eyes, at the woman I currently am and the woman I desire to be. Priceless.
I have deep, lasting friendships that will span decades. These people don't see what I'm wearing or driving, nor do they care. Instead, they see my heart, my loyalty, my desire to do good in this world. They love me exactly the way I am. Priceless.
***
Today, DID NOT go the way I had planned.
And I am so incredibly thankful for that.
And... because I'm all about paying it forward, I pray that God will work on detachment with you too. It's scary. It's emotional. But, I promise, it's worth it.
