My Interest with Pinterest

So I've recently jumped on the Pinterest Bandwagon, partly because I can't avoid pop culture phenomena and partly because I liked the photography pins some of my friends were posting.  Anyhow, I'm amazed at how one of my boards appropriately titled, "Life Needs More Laughter," is creating a pretty expansive following.  Most of the people who watch this board only exist in an online community, and I'll likely never meet them face to face.  Is this the new age of blogging?  Are people not even taking the time to write out their thoughts? Instead, they can easily convey their moods, personality, and interests by clicking the Pin It button below their toolbar. You can learn a lot about someone based on their Pinterest boards.

For example, one of my friends has a Wedding Board and a Baby Board.  Interestingly enough, she's been married for over a year now, long before she got on board with Pinterest, and as far as I know, a little baby Schumann is not in the works yet.  But, she is the do-er, the Type-A person, who loves event planning.  She loves decorating, crafts, creating ambiance with correct lighting and candles.  Of course she would have two boards like that. I'd expect nothing less from her.

A culinary enthusiast friend pins recipes she'd like to try, cakes so beautiful and intricate that they couldn't possibly be edible, and exercise ideas, obviously to help curb any additional poundage from her aforementioned two boards.  Food is her life.

So what do my boards say about me?  I'd say a couple of things.  First, I have a "Beauty in the Ordinary" board where I pin simplistically beautiful photos.  I do this in an effort to remind myself that even in the most common and small places, there is beauty.  Whether it be the design made in the foam of a cappuccino, or an auburn leaf grasping to hold onto its branch for a moment longer, or two young people unabashedly loving one another.  All beautiful. All simple.  Maybe we'd all be a little bit happier if we searched for beauty in the ordinary.

Another board I have is "Stylish."  I am by no way claiming I am stylish. Far from it.  I just have high aspirations that one day I'll know which shoes to wear with which jeans, which colors compliment each other so as not to rely too heavily on my black cardigan as my only accessory, and to know that one day, I might actually be able to pull of hats with an outfit.  My "stylish" board could also be appropriately titled, "Not Likely for Nicole."

Last and the inspiration for this blog post, my board, "Life Needs More Laughter."  This board has followers- real people who care to see the things I find humorous.  Yes, I agree life is funny and several of my pins still get me laughing out loud, but I can't help but wonder, why is this one so popular?  I think many of us are so frustrated, exhausted, or beat down with life that a simple card joking about internet stalking makes us laugh.  We are all desperate to find joy in our lives, that sometimes the only uplifting thing we have is a pin it making fun of Neville from Harry Potter.  It's kind of sad, really.  Life shouldn't be doing that to us.

An Exhausted Heart

"There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will." -Epictetus

My heart is heavy.  All around me, I see women, including myself, grappling with feelings of insecurity.  We all desperately want to find value and love in a world that is constantly telling us we are not good enough.  Magazines, television, parents, friends even, demand that we look, dress, and act a certain way.  The ramifications are devastating.

Young girls are becoming ashamed of their bodies, believing that if they were thinner, blonder, bustier, then finally, they would be happy.  They don't see value in self-expression and originality.  Instead, the feel most normal, most secure, when they act and think the way society tells them they should.  These beautiful, young girls are going to drastic measures to fit in.  I'm not sure how much more my heart can endure if I see one more 6th or 7th grade girl beginning to wear baggy sweatshirts to cover the marks on her arms that she has inflicted. How does she not see what I see? Or more importantly, how does she not see what God sees? 

Women my age are not immune to feeling insecure and inadequate. In essence, we are still 12 year old girls yearning to look and act in a way that will allow us to feel truly captivating.  The difference between us now and our 12 year old selves is our scars are no longer visible.  Our scars now cover our hearts.  Failed relationships and destructive decisions regretfully convey how our insecurities have left us feeling dejected and worthless.  I'm not sure how much more my heart can endure if I have to have one more conversation with a friend about how a man shouldn't be allowed to tell us we're beautiful, or about how giving our hearts away recklessly only further hardens them towards love.  How do my friends not see what I see? Or more importantly, how do they not see what God sees?

The more I learn about women, the more I realize we're all the same.  We all want to feel accepted and special.  We all mistakenly look to earthly things to find our worth.  And we all experience the pain when that blows up in our face.

But tonight, I am also feeling hopeful.  I am on a journey to leave Insecurity behind. I know it won't be easy.  I know I'll stumble.  But I also know God's love is the only thing I can find security in, in my mess of a life. I also know there is great freedom in putting my worth in His hands.  It is far easier to please one person who loves me so completely and so truly, than a massive world that doesn't even care to know the real me.   So it is with new resolve that I feel my heart getting a little lighter.

So long, Insecurity.