I am currently sitting at my computer at school, nervously waiting for my next parent-teacher conference. For this quarter, we only need to meet with the parents of students who are not proficient in one or more academic areas. Basically, I still meet with all my students.
Well, I'm finding these conferences to be emotionally draining. It's so hard telling parents their child is not where they need to be. I think one of the hardest things a first year teacher must learn is to distance themselves from their students' performance on a test or assignment. For most of my short teaching career, I have thought that my students' successes are my own successes and their failures, or rather their short-comings, are my own short-comings. But I've slowly begun to realize, that much more plays into a student's achievement and success in school than my own hopes and goals for that kid. I still expect all my students to leave my room having done their personal best each day, but I'm starting to understand that I put too much pressure on myself, and it's affecting my attitude and disposition. As my Daily Dove Chocolate says, "Remind yourself that it's okay not to be perfect." This piece of tin foil is neatly taped to my computer for my daily reminder. I come prepared, I know my kids, and I love my job. This is what gets me through nights like tonight.
On the plus side: I love my students. They are hilarious and I can be brought to tears of laughter by many of them. One of my bright-eyed students eagerly ran up to me this morning. He was grinning.
"Ms. Eakle! Guess what I did last night?"
"What? Um...ate dinner and went to bed?"
"Haha, no! I superglued my hands together." :) Yes these are the wonderful kids I have the pleasure of knowing.
3 comments:
Sometimes it is all you can do to ask that each of your kids tries their best. Some days you win and some days you loose. Some days "their best" only equates to 50%... The best part about it though? You get to go back the next day and try again :)
I came across your blog in my blogspot wanderings; I'm looking for other teacher blogs to commiserate with! :) I wish you all the best in your first year. You hit an important point in this post - it's so hard not to take their failures personally, but you'll wear yourself out if you do! It's good you're discovering that early!
I find myself at that same difficult position- is it my fault when my students fail?? I find that I take my students failures as opportunities to improve my approaches- but also have come to realize that a students failure is sometimes a result of their own effort. As a first year teacher too- I also find it hard not to take it personally.
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