I have heard, "Chase after Jesus" or "Set your sights on Jesus," more times than I can count. These bumper sticker slogans are tossed around so often in the Christian community, that to be honest, I've never really thought much about them. I mean obviously, if we claim to be Christ's followers, we should be chasing after him. It's a given. Done. Moving on.
But a string of events this weekend has made me think twice about these cliche phrases. Life is a marathon race. Ok, I admit it, this is not a profound analogy. It's not original, and I'd even venture to say, it's just as trite as the previously mentioned slogans. In fact, you're probably sitting there thinking...Great, another blog about how someone has "figured" out life. Haha, nope. I have not figured out anything. But this weekend has left me so emotionally drained, and I need to process. So I blog. Feel free, of course, to stop reading this and switch to a blog with creative recipes that use olive oil and ricotta cheese instead of butter (it's possible...Google it).
Anyhow, my late night rant presses on.
I believe that God is good and His promises are true. I also know that He has me on an incredible journey that will be undoubtedly hard and relentlessly frustrating, but the reward at the end is going to make all the tears and sweat worth it.
And here's where my ridiculously cliche analogy stems from:
Tonight, one of my dearest and closest friends, who I should mention started running my race with me over 15 years ago, told me some incredible, life-changing news. My heart leaped out of my chest for her. I have been running life with her for so long that her celebrations are my celebrations, and equally, her failures and disappointments are my own. I have seen her fall. I have seen her quit. I have seen her literally sit down, pouting that she wouldn't take one more step forward. But I have also seen her press on, fully living in a peace and joy only explained by God's grace and love for her. So her news is something that I feel blessed to get to share with her.
But it also struck a painful chord in me, a chord I didn't know I had. Tonight, I realized that she is at a different mile marker than I am. Her road blocks and speed bumps are no longer ones I will be able to relate to. She is so far ahead of me that our struggles are not comparable anymore. I realized tonight that a friend I had started running with so long ago had paced herself very differently than I had, and as a result, our races are no longer the same.
So, confused by my sudden change in emotional state, I called another dear friend of mine. She and I have only been running side by side for a little less than a year, but her friendship is no less important to me. She told me that when running a marathon, "Someone will always show up at mile 24 to encourage you to keep going." She is my mile 24 pep talk. Her words made me laugh. They made me feel normal again. She told me I wasn't crazy and that it was possible, expected even, to feel such juxtaposing emotions. I stopped crying. Win.
But here's what I really learned. God is using my running buddies for His purpose. He is using my old friend to show me where I ultimately want to go in my life, that if I keep running after Jesus the way she has, then eventually, I'll be on the same path as her again (*fingers crossed). And He's also using my mile 24 friend (who I confidently know will not be a small blip on my "life radar." She is stuck with me. Sorry, Friend), to show me I'm not alone. There are people running right beside me, encouraging me not to quit, not to stop hoping.
I believe God has a great road ahead of me. And with Jesus as my coach, I know I'll reach the end. I might just have a ridiculously slower pace than everyone else.
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